


Entangled

by Cmobsessed



Category: Criminal Minds, Criminal Minds (US TV), Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders
Genre: Aaron Hotchner - Freeform, Enemies to Lovers, Entangled, F/M, Gen, Hotch - Freeform, aaron hotchner series, criminal minds - Freeform, hotch series
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 19:48:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29194815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cmobsessed/pseuds/Cmobsessed
Summary: What could happen when a secret CIA agent is sent into the BAU to apprehend and report back dirty cops after each case, all the while working with your boss who hates you. Oh right- nothing good. Join the journey of Agent (L/N) , a new recruit in the BAU, coming highly recommended from the pentagon- where instantly they’re met with a dilemma, to also report on any wrongdoings of your boss, Aaron Hotchner as another assignment. Join these two idiots on a classic enemies to lovers series.
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner & Reader, Aaron Hotchner/Reader
Kudos: 11





	1. Assignment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter One of Entangled! Hope you like the first chapter- be sure to show some love <3

It had been a few days since your arrival in Quantico, and thus since working at the BAU. Penelope had welcomed you into the team with open arms and coffee- a peace offering of sorts as she was glad there was “less testosterone” around now-a-days. It was safe to say regardless of her nice nature, she was not fond of change, but had decided to put her faith in you. This was the same with Agent Jareau, or Jj as she had insisted instantly and Agent Prentiss- or Emily. To be frank, all the girls had been super nice and had made you feel very included, you and Emily hitting it off right away after you found out her past as in Interpol agent. You could suddenly relate to her like never before. Of course, she didn’t know this though.

Even Rossi and Reid had warmed up to you quite early on, you and Reid hitting it of from your obvious love of books, ensuring you both could talk on end for hours.

The only ones you couldn’t seem to crack were Agent Morgan, Derek or your boss, Agent Hotchner. Derek, while he was very welcoming, had been a bit closed off, when compared to the girls of the BAU. And you could tell he was also sceptical of your new transfer.

And then there was the devil himself, Agent Hotchner. He hadn’t given you ‘permission’ to call him anything else yet- like “Hotch” that everyone else seemed to call him. With his distant, curt and rude nature, both of you butted heads quite a lot for the short amount of time you had been there. For example, if you would put forward a new theory- he would be the first one to dismiss it, not so nicely in fact. His mere face and somehow even the sound of his voice had made your blood boil.  
Well- it did make you want to kiss him too, but that’s beside the point.  
Shut up.

Actually, since your first meeting with him- he was very distant, cold and unwelcoming. It had made you wonder for the most part. Was this his default or was it because of something you did- unintentionally.  
You were suddenly taken back, to that day in his office, after your meeting with Strauss.  
\--  
After your meeting your Strauss, you followed her directions to his office, reaching the door, you knocked at the door. Hearing a ‘come in’ you walked inside, your box of things in your arms.  
Fixating your gaze on your boss, you analysed him- almost as a reflex after your time at the pentagon. Lord he was an attractive man, which you almost blurted out.  
Clearly organised, well dressed, good tie & Rolex watch? He’s well off , you had concluded. You also saw many pictures of a young blonde boy around, you presumed it was his son, however what you did notice was the one photo of a family, his family to be exact. Just one? Is it a memorial of sorts for his wife? It couldn’t have been for the son- there were many drawings littered around in his book self, seemingly recent. No ring on his finger too- so it’s his wife, you had concluded.

You refocused hearing your name being called “Agent (L/N), I presume?” you heard. You realised he had studied you too, god how you wanted to know what he analysed. To positively check his profiling- could he tell you were not being totally forthcoming? Nah, too soon you thought.  
Almost instantly though – you sensed anger and hostility from him. Only raising your eyebrows in response, you responded with a short yes and shook his offered hand. God his hands were big.  
Focus !  
“You had a meeting with Strauss?” he questioned; his eyes trained on your face. Almost waiting for you to mess up- show him something, anything, that would implicate you. With a small smile, you put on an act, the newbie in FBI- excited for her first day  
“Yes! She just wanted to fill me in on the salary changes and gave me a basic rundown I guess.” You responded.  
Still being conflicted from your response, he watched you again, taking a breath and responded “Oh, well I guess that will be all then-, but I just wanted to mention some of my own rules, and expectations.”-  
Crossing his arms on the table, he fixed his gaze on you- almost staring into your soul, and continued –  
“ You see, my team, I trust them with my life- you, not so much, right now at least. Now- look I don’t know what your true intentions are, but you should know I will find out soon.”- his gaze locked on you, jaw slightly tightening- “ I know what Strauss has asked of you- and I can only hope your answer to her, doesn’t implicate you in anything- or better yet has any repercussions.” He finished.  
Deciding to play dumb, “I’m sorry? I’m not too sure what you are talking about Sir” you replied. He studied you for yet another moment and god you just wished he had not realised your quite obvious tell, biting your tongue, “Very well then, I trust you know your way to the bullpen? The rest of the team will be introduced to you there” he finished curtly. Escorting you out of his office, you saw he had a scowl on his face, jaw still very much tight.  
God you nearly wanted to kiss away his anger-Oh god for once (Y/N) think with your brain!  
You knew then, you had to be extra careful around him. Even though you knew you would never snitch on your boss, this was the only way to keep him at a distance, to not accidently slip up. If he still thought that you were reporting on him to Strauss- he would involve you less, at least you hoped.  
\-----  
Hearing your ring-tone, you were brought out of your thoughts. You were glad to see it was just a message, from Jayje- altering you of a new case and to come in asap. This is probably going to be a bad one, you thought. In record time, you had fixed your outfit, making it work appropriate and suited up, all of your weapons and Glock. You always carried two with you, one on your hip and the other hidden in your ankle. From working in the CIA, you had soon realised to always be prepared for anything, you never knew what could happen and dammit you did not want to risk any innocent lives just because you had run out of bullets. The thought of innocents in danger had also committed you to train regularly ; The pentagon had invested a lot of time and money into making sure their Agents were in top shape- especially in self-defence. And god you definitely did not want to be the Agent that caused something to happen to innocents just because you couldn’t hold it out in the field.

Shaking off these thoughts, you grabbed your bag and only hoped that Agent Hotchner wasn’t working on this case. Yeah like that’s going to happen- that man is married to his job, you almost laughed at your thought. Ever since your first interview, you both had just rubbed on each other the wrong way. Almost seeming like you didn’t have any sort of common ground. You both constantly bickered on crime scenes, on the jet and god so many eyes were rolled, and scowls passed onto each other, especially in the jet. The team, most of times had to make sure you both weren’t in the same vicinity for more than one hour- though Agent Hotchner had made certain of that. Never pairing both of you together for any tasks. If he was talking to the victims at the station, you would be miles away at the crime scene, and vice versa. Though, it was quite surprising how compatible you both were out in the field. Normally, you would take the back entrance- while he would the front and lord, he at least owed you twice for having his back and getting to the unsub before they got to him. Even at that- you practically saving his life- a “thank you” to him was like venom, especially when you were on the receiving end of it. You longed for the day he would have to ‘thank-you’ or compliment you for anything- that was probably going to be the day he’d be on his deathbed. His hatred to you was unmatched, even the rest of the BAU had noticed. Well, at least the feeling was mutual – eh, not really…  
Okay you can still want to fuck someone you hate.  
true.

Reaching the BAU office, almost in record time even with all these thoughts and memories occupying your time, you quickly grabbed for the file that was on your spot at the table and sat down, absorbing the information. It was only you at the table then, Rossi, Jayje and Emily filing in. They offered you smiles and enquired about your night, then dived into the files.  
That was how most of your days went at the BAU- small talk, smiles, work and repeat. To be frank, after your first meeting you had realised how good they all were, as individuals especially. This had just made you want to shroud in shame, you just hoped they could somehow understand where you were coming from, in regard to your assignment. You hoped at least Emily could- after finding out about her past in Interpol, you had quickly searched her up in your system. You were no Penelope Garcia by any means, but you did know your way around a computer and there you had hit the jackpot- Ian Doyle. This revelation had eased your worries just a tad at least, knowing someone at least could be able to comprehend where you were coming from.  
Pushing these thoughts away, you had realised that the table was now full of all BAU members.  
Time to get to work, you thought.


	2. In Plain Sight

“Okay, guys- two bodies have turned up in the west coast- showing definite overkill on both” JJ started, showing pictures on the tv screen of the victims. Looking up at the pictures, you were shocked, to say the least. No obvious connections between these victims, one living a high-risk life as a sex worker while the other held a stable job at a law firm. At least from the preliminary checks, in-depth searching from Garcia’s side always helped to unravel any details. Something about these murders had already ignited a weird feeling in your belly- something seeming so familiar, yet something you couldn’t place.

“What if there’s no connection? Kills of pure opportunity?” you questioned the whole table, briefly glancing up to meet the eyes of the person who sat across from you. Low and behold- Agent Hotchner himself.  
Just at the sound of your questioning, his jaw clenched- his default look regarding you by now while a scowl etched his features.  
Alright then, asshole.  
He only seemed to shake his head at your thought and continued, “NO- the kills are too organised otherwise” he quickly dismissed, not giving anyone else the chance to even consider your theory.

I guess you did understand where he was coming from, but dammit he could have been nice?!

Only rolling your eyes in response to his outburst, Emily and Jj saw the exchange, Em who sat beside Agent Hotchner while JJ stood behind him, in front of the screen. They both just glanced at each other while trying to stifle their laughs. The bickering between you and Agent Hotchner had been a source of entertainment for the BAU ladies, your quick Witt and sarcastic nature brightening up their usual gloomy workday.

Rossi adding onto Agent Hotchner’s theory “I guess we’ll only know more when we see the crime scene”, which had prompted Agent Hotchner to say his usual “wheels up in 30”, not without sparing you a hardened gaze though. Yet again, Emily had seen this little exchange that would usually go unnoticed by many- to be frank, you were in a room of profilers though so, they were bound to pick up on the little details. Just the thought of that shook you to your core and had altered you to keep up your ‘newbie to FBI’ nature.  
“Em – I swear he hates me, I don’t even know what I did!” you whisper at her, quite forcefully.  
“(Y/N)- He doesn’t hate you. He just is very obvious with his dislikes towards you..” She replied, her sentence getting quieter at the end, you guessed that it had sounded better in her head than out loud. Only dignifying her response with a flat look, she continued “Okay well, look , He was like that towards me too, when I first joined. I guess it happens to the best of us?” She finished, a comforting hand running up and down your arm.

That was the last thing you needed, an egotistical, misogynistic man that was oh your boss, and weirdly the same person who you were so attracted to. Huh, life works in mysterious ways.

Only thanking Emily for her reassurance, you got all your stuff together. Sending a quick text back to your boss back at the pentagon, Mark Webber, on your plans for the work trip and any progress with your assignment. You couldn’t obviously type out the message on your ‘actual’ phone, so you had a secondary. One that would only be used to contact him directly- and only speaking through code, that a few individuals knew. You quickly grabbed the secondary phone and now, as you were back at your desk, you held it underneath and began texting. You could do this without looking down, basically being second nature at this point after the number of times you had to use this.  
To be honest, you really admired your real boss- Agent Webber, or Mark as he preferred. He had always shown faith in you, even during the most difficult circumstances. Even when you felt all hope was loss- you knew you could always go to Mark for help, or simply just a conversation. Him being about 30 years older than you had helped with that- having more of a mentor-mentee relationship more than anything. Working under Agent Hotchner had only made you realise how much you did like Mark, and the way he managed. While he was more forthcoming, nice and honest, Agent Hotchner took the other end of the spectrum of being more stoic, cold and distant. But honestly, it had only been towards you- the others got along with him fine, even making him laugh a few times. Had that been a sight to see.

Finishing up your text to Agent Webber, you discretely stored your secondary phone back into the space near your ankle, hidden from plane sight. Feeling eyes on you, the tiny hairs on the back of your neck stood up. You almost felt helpless, like a predator had set his eyes on you and hadn’t wavered. Looking up at the culprit from your spot on your chair, you met the hardened gaze of none other than Agent Hotchner. Still near his office, standing ram-rod straight near the edge, he simply had his arms crossed and gaze fixed on you- his head tipped up slightly.

He almost looked intrigued by your previous movements, trying to decipher what mischief you had caused.  
Be chill. He didn’t see anything- he couldn’t have.  
Only responding back to his look with a quiet shake your head and raised eyebrows, as if to say, ‘what’s wrong’, he simply disregarded any kind of formality and turned away. His face once again set to a scowl.

What is his problem, you thought.

\-------  
Reaching the crime scene, you and Rossi both bee-lined towards the place the body was found. This eery feeling had settled in your gut, it had only led you to believe that the end of this case was not going to be a good one. As soon as you had reached and spoken to the detectives in the station, you had realised they had mishandled the evidence majorly. However, Reid being ever the helpful had managed to fix and work around the mistake they had made. It had helped things go by smoother for sure, but not so much as you still felt an air of familiarity. Was it something you had seen before? The same MO?

What could a sex-worker and someone working at a law firm have in common? They were both females, ages were very different, one being in her late twenties while the latter was in her late 30s. No connections between at all- they didn’t even frequent the same coffee shop for god sakes. You were all left stunned- Rossi had been very sceptical of the crime scene even, it felt it had been tampered with. You had mentioned that to the detective that had given you guys a ride there, Detective Hall.  
Leaning down, to analyse the place where the body had been found, it was unusual to say the least. The placement had been very methodical and organised but the actual kill had said otherwise.  
“Detective, and you’re sure no one has moved anything from here” you questioned Detective Hall, still glancing down.

“Yes- this is how we found it” he replied curtly. Hmm, defensive?  
Glancing up at Rossi, you just shook your head. Nothing at the dump site could help in identifying the unsub or even give much away from the profile. Rossi decided to go back to the station and fill the rest of them in on what happened. To your perspective, it looked like purely kills of opportunity. The timing between these hadn’t been too long, indicating that this unsub didn’t have a cooling down period- it was almost a need for him to kill. Through the help of Garcia, you had found out that the sex worker, Allie, was in contact with a drug dealer who also sold firearms. Deal gone wrong?  
“Guys it makes sense- Allie probably went to the unsub to get drugs or a gun- the latter to probably protect herself out on the streets. The deal went wrong- or they got in an argument maybe because he propositioned her- and then bam, she’s dead. Purely an opportunistic kill for him” You described, quite animatedly, a trick you had unconsciously picked up from your short time working with Reid.

“I think (L/N) may be onto something- he could be what they call a ‘visionary’ type of killer. They usually suffer from psychotic episodes and believe that a higher power of sorts- the god or devil- is making them commit these crimes” Reid explained.

Almost instantly, Morgan had Garcia on speed dial and cross-referenced the suspect list she had somehow already pooled up. God there needs to be another Garcia at the Pentagon. She pulled up two names, both who seemed to fit the profile. This had torn the BAU- some believed that it was Mark Hanson, while you, Emily believed the other, Jake Welsh.

“I have a feeling it’s Welsh- something about him seems so familiar” you sighed.  
“Well (L/N)- we can’t just go arrest a guy because you find him familiar” Agent Hotchner snapped. You didn’t get a chance to react as he quickly ordered everyone to split up. Morgan, Jj and you taking the workplace while the rest took his residence.

Deciding to let go and suit up, you walked over to your bag. Morgan quick on your tail. “Kid- don’t take what Hotch said to heart” he said.  
“Yeah- well it’s kind of hard to do when shit like this happens every day- ugh I just can’t place it. Something about this case just seems so familiar. I swear I thought I read that he has connections to this past IRA agent” you spoke, not realising Emily had also joined in the conversation.  
-“ I think it was something from V- uh Valhalla, maybe?” you spoke.  
As soon as the words had left your mouth- you realised you had messed up. Shit shit shit.  
You looked ahead, seeing Emily also in the room now who looked like a deer caught in headlights, her eyes wide and body looking physically shaken up. She tried to get it all under control, but you saw past that- you had been trained to.  
“But I’m probably just reading into it- forget I said anything. I just hope Hanson is the guy” you concluded to Morgan. Busying yourself now with putting on your Kevlar vest, Morgan had somehow already done this and left the room. Only leaving you and Emily. You could feel her stare on you- she was studying you. You knew that she knew that you had known something. ‘Valhalla’ or Ian Doyle as you were familiar wasn’t a public case in the record. Only Interpol, CIA or higher ups in the FBI could know this information. She was waiting for you to say something- but you wouldn’t. You didn’t want to dig yourself a deeper hole, and frankly the last thing you needed was for someone you like to not be able to trust you anymore.  
“Em you alright?” you finally asked, after you had put on the vest. A misty look had graced her face, almost one of shock- you knew it was because of the name she hadn’t heard of in years. She only responded with a tight smile and played it off saying she was tired. You left the room then, making your way to the car which held Morgan and Jj.

It had been about 10 minutes into your drive, where you had gotten a call from Garcia- she was relaying some new information to you both which had implicated Welsh being the unsub even more. You see, the main reason the rest of the BAU thought it was Hanson was because he had been reported to having a clear mental break.

“Okay crime fighters you will not believe what I just found out- Welsh was on prescribed medication a few years ago for schizophrenia- and get this- he stopped renewing his prescription about two months ago, a couple of weeks before Allie was killed- Looks like (L/N) was right in her theory” Garcia said.

On the line, was also the rest of the BAU- “GARCIA- How did you miss this?” Hotchner snapped on the other end. But you knew that anger was misplaced- it had been directed towards you, it always was. While Garcia desperately mumbled to try to save her ass- you knew you had to say something to her when you got back. Almost as soon as Garcia had started talking however, she had sent through addresses for Welsh- both his work and home. The home being closer to you and on your way- you sped there while the others went to his workplace.  
I just know Hotchner is seething- this should show him to trust me more.  
Yeah right- like that’s going to happen anytime soon.

And oh- how right you were. Just as you had said earlier, Welsh had turned out to be the unsub, almost confessing as he heard you guys through the door. You had yet again used the back entrance to trap him while Morgan and JJ took the front door. The takedown had been pretty simple, Morgan handling the bulk of it, cuffing him instantly. Yet something he said right before Morgan had recited his rights to him had stuck with you.

“Did Hall put you up to this?” he was mumbling incoherently. JJ and Morgan had dismissed it as him just acting out but you knew it went deeper than that. Deciding to not do anything now, you waited until you were back at the police station to contact your superior Mark.

Hall?

While the rest of the BAU congratulated you on the profile and ‘win’ of sorts- from the corner of your eye you could see Hotchner seething, silently of course. He had not spoken a word to you after his talk with Garcia over the phone. You could just tell he hated being wrong. Well he wasn’t really wrong per say, as you had considered Welsh- you knew it was the fact that you were right. God how he hated that. And your smug face wasn’t really helping this situation. I want to be a brat- what’s wrong with that? you thought. As the detectives came up to the BAU to thank them for their help- it suddenly clicked. What Welsh had said- “did hall put you up to this?” – it was Detective Hall.

That’s why the crime scene looked compromised. That’s why the evidence was tampered with- thought Reid had somehow managed to still find it useful, there were no fingerprints on that piece of evidence. As you locked eyes with him when he came to shake your hand, he looks etched on his face had sent chills down your spine. The smug yet ‘I just got away with murder’ look was clear as day, to you at least, you had seen this before- countless times. Excusing yourself after shaking his hand, you quickly walked into the closet where your go-bag was, deeming that as a safe place to contact Mark. The instant you were the room, you snatched your phone from your leg and had started to dial, deciding this was more urgent than just a text.  
“Mark- yeah look, we just arrested the unsub- Welsh-but I’m sure this other guy is in on it” you rushed out. “His name is Hall- detective Hall” you rushed out in a whisper, almost cornering yourself into the room without even realizing.

The air suddenly felt a lot colder, the hair on the back of your neck standing up. Turning around to do a quick surveillance of the room, you were met with hardened eyes- belonging to Detective Hall. What had stilled you the most though, was the gun sound of a gun disengaging from safety, trained right at your temple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh the cliffhanger!! hope y'all liked this :)


	3. Compromised

Oozing confidence, despite your current predicament, you spoke “Detective Hall- I assure you that is a very bad idea- do I need to remind you have a gun pointed at a federal agent”. You were scared shitless- but he didn’t need to know that. Frankly, you had been in positions like this far too many times and had been quite lucky to say the least. You were only hoping this time turned out to be that way as well.  
“Nah nah- I have nothing to lose-” he laughed and continued “also no one else has figured anything out except you- what’s to say I take you out right here” he spoke as he inched closer towards you, almost a prowl. He looked like a predator inching towards its prey, not making any sudden moves even though he supposedly held all control in this situation. But you knew better than to act out now- you just needed some sort of opening. Don’t get it wrong though, you were petrified.  
Quickly surveying the room for anything you could use to your advantage at that moment, you couldn’t find anything. There was only a row of locker-like closets in which you could see your go-bag. It was within reach, but you knew any movement from you could alert him. Training your gaze back at him now, you studied him.  
You had profiled Hall unintentionally during this case and had found out about his personal life. He had been evolving to say the least- problems at home wife and kid abandoning him, he really did have nothing to live for. Especially now that Welsh was in custody, about to spill the tea on Hall being an inside man, any minute. He would probably shoot you, and wouldn’t give you a second thought- or himself for that matter.  
“My team will notice me not there- out there- and come looking for me- I think that’s stopping you from hurting me” you bluffed. You knew he would take this chance. Hell he even had a silencer on the gun- so no one would probably hear the gunshot. Damn it. Worst of all, you couldn’t even arm yourself, the moment you would reach down to grab your gun, he knew he would take the shot. Almost at an arm's distance from you now, he had backed you into the wall, a sick smile on his features now. You could see it in his eyes, you saw no ounce of emotion. This man was unhinged and very erratic.  
Someone please notice I’m not out there- Please come looking for me – for him, anyone, you thought, almost your mantra at this point.  
He kept prowling closer, almost nose-to-nose by now. You could smell alcohol on his breath. Ah lovely, a dirty alcoholic cop. You turned your head, wanting to create the most amount of distance but his gun stopped you. It was now pressed against your forehead, almost pining you into the wall. Finally feeling like you had bit of an advantage, you lifted your leg and kneed him in his chest.  
Simultaneously, you grabbed the gun at your forehead and clicked out the ammo, making it drop. A thud sounded, as it reached the floor. As Hall stumbled back- not expecting you to fight back.  
Reaching your leg, fuck you realised you didn’t have your gun on your person. Fuck fuck fuck.  
He lunged, you lunged. Somehow the blow to his head didn’t do much as he only grunted in response. He was angrier now. Lunging at you now with a newfound sense of power. A kick to your stomach had you stumble back a few steps, crashing into the lockers, and knocking everything down, your go-bag included. Ah that was going to hurt like a bitch. In that moment, he had somehow loaded his gun again.  
Definitely not a good idea to wear heeled boots to work again, you thought.  
Now you were getting angrier. You pounced on him, making him drop to the floor. You know straddling his mid-section. Almost plummeting him into Earth itself, with the sheer amount of punches thrown. Somehow, he gained an advantage and managed to flip you both over. He was now straddling you, his weight pinning you down on the ground. When you felt two arms cage themselves around your neck you started to thrash. Kicking your legs with no avail, you simply grunted and tried to punch him from your position. While simultaneously free your neck from his hands. He managed to grab your arms mid-way and had them pinned at the top of your head. In that moment, you did what you thought was best- “EMILY!” you yelled, hoping somehow, she could hear you.  
As he leaned in again to your face, you once again turned your head to the side. There, on the ground next to your head, you saw your secondary gun. Must have fell from my go-bag.  
He had officially had enough now- his hand quieting you after settling over your mouth. You only grunted in reply and tried to bite away at his hand. You weren’t even sure how, but he had a gun at your head again, only one of his arms caging yours. Almost daring you to make another sound. You couldn’t. You were definitely scared shitless now.  
“Detective Hall- put your gun down now” Hotchner’s voice rang through the room. Almost giving no room for argument. Almost. You closed your eyes that moment- partly from relief and partly from not wanting his face to be the last you would ever see.  
You heard some shuffling in the room, you could almost see the scene before you. All BAU members, their guns and eyes fixed on Detective Hall. You also could hear Agent Hotchner trying to talk to him down, you were guessing only trying to distract him until someone, most probably Morgan to tackle him down and cuff him. The next few seconds seemed to past almost in slow motion.  
Hall still not getting up from you, resisting and not listening to Hotchner’s words. You then realised, it went well beyond just this one cop. He had been saving someone else, a higher up probably. And the only way he would go out was by suicide by cop. That’s why he was so inclined shooting me- he knew he would die either way.  
In your peripheral you could spot your gun, that has made its way under the lockers. Probably from you crashing into them earlier. It was just within your reach- if only you could just-  
Instantly, you had made up your mind. Use Agent Hotchner talking him down as a distraction and somehow get his gun. That chance came soon, when he turned his head to the left. The hand which was caging both your arms seemed to loosen just a bit.  
In a split second, you broke your arms away. One quickly reaching for your gun. The other moving his gun from your forehead. Just as he looked down towards you, he realised what had happened and tried to shoot. But what stopped him was your gun that was now aiming at his head. Heaving your chest up and down, you looked at him dead in the eye. Silently telling him you also wouldn’t think twice before shooting him. He seemed to get what you were trying to say, looking shocked to say the least.  
Next few minutes passed by a blur, Hall, finally not resisting arrest. Morgan came up behind him and shoved him off of you, cuffing him promptly. Feeling his weight no longer on you, a long sigh came from you as your head hit the floor, in sheer relief. Closing your eyes, you tried to regain a normal breathing pattern, your chest heaving up and down. You hadn’t even realised that Emily and Jj had helped you up from your position and taken you to a medic. You were in a trance. Almost lost in your own thoughts. Who is Hall protecting?  
\-----  
It had been about 20 minutes since your encounter with Hall, and since he had been dragged off by Morgan. You had yet to give your statement yet on what had occurred. Everyone could tell you were still shaken up. Even Agent Hotchner hadn’t come up to you yet, only JJ and Emily sitting at your side while you got patched up from the medic. Hall had somehow given you a pretty big slash on your forehead, and a few cuts at your lips and jaw, thankfully none of them had been deep enough for stitches. Only minimal bruising and soreness as the medic had explained.  
“(Y/N)?-“ came a voice you were not expecting. Agent Hotchner. God he’s probably going to turn this all on me. Wanting to give him your full attention, you stood up starting to ramble. “Agent Hotchner, I swear I did nothing wrong- I- he heard me insinuating-“ you were cut off.  
“(L/N)- I know- I know what he happened. Hall just spoke” he said, quite softly.  
Almost sighing in relief you continued to stare at Agent Hotchner- as if you couldn’t believe he was actually trusting you on something- not going against you at all. It was surprising to say the least.  
“I just wanted to say- you did good work back there” He managed to spit out. You could just see how much it had physically tortured him to say that. You remained quiet, not wanting to somehow snap him out of his supposed nice side. Huh so the devil does have a good side. You bit your tongue- not wanting your smart mouth to ruin this moment, or show a smug expression.  
What you definitely didn’t expect however was him maintain eye contact with you. It seemed so intimate at the moment; he had never done this before- not like this anyway. Or his hand coming up, just centimetres off of reaching your face. Almost as if he had forgotten who you were in that moment. Almost if he wanted to cup your cheek, offer you some comfort- human contact to try and sooth you. Just that revelation had made your head spin. All you could do was stare back at him in that moment. The red and blue lights from the ambulance illuminating his features. God he’s so hot.  
His jaw tightened slightly as he continued, “I’m glad you are okay- I”- he was the one biting his tongue now, holding back. Only then, you had realised how close both of you were standing. It was weirdly comforting, like second nature to both of you. Somehow- you were both surprisingly comfortable in each other’s presence. As if, the way in which you two couldn’t spend too long of a period together was a complete lie.  
Snapping out of his trance suddenly, he pulled away his moving hand, albeit a bit reluctantly. As if just realising what he was doing. Not meeting your eyes anymore, he only looked down as he continued “I’m going to need an official report though- take a few days off. Come see me Tuesday.” Slightly shaking his head as he finished, you only replied with a small “alright” before he walked away, too quickly for your liking. That was weird. Never before, had you both had a conversation where he hadn’t snapped at you- this was definitely a first. You hated to admit it, but it had made you look at him in a new light. Raising your eyebrow almost in surprise to the kindness he had shown you. Albeit it was the bare minimum- but it had been a huge step from Hotchner- almost a leap.  
Huh- guess he can be nice.  
\------  
On the FBI jet now, you were finally feeling it. It seemed like all of the pain had finally settled in , now that your adrenaline had declined. You were wrapped up in a blanket in the back corner of the jet. Everyone had given you some space after the events of today- nobody expecting it to happen in the slightest. Thankfully, no one had spoken any more about Hall or Welsh, everyone needed a break after today. Though it was just bothering you- who the hell was Hall protecting? And for what- he was willing to die for it?  
“(y/n)?” a soft voice pulled you out of your thoughts, though you weren’t surprised to see it came from Spence. Looking up at him from your position, you only granted him a small smile which quickly morphed into a grimace. The sudden movement had caused the nicks near your lips to get stretched which only triggered pain to spread through your mouth.  
“How are you feeling?-uh, bad question to ask, sorry” Reid mumbled, slightly smiling while handing you an ice-pack he had brought with him. Muttering a small thanks, you held it against your mouth, trying to relinquish the throbbing pain.  
“I’m super if you couldn’t already tell” you mumbled sarcastically, as a joke. He understood the underlying humour in your sentence and a quiet snort came from him. You continued, “I’m good Spence- really; believe it or not it’s not my first time being in that position”, almost wanting to reach out and rub his arm. But you quickly retracted- you and him weren’t that close yet and he was an obvious germaphobe- that man hadn’t even shaken your hand yet! Your confession only seemed to confuse him- but he let it go and walked off after a few minutes of small talk, joining the rest of the team in the front of the jet.  
Only looking out of the window of the plane now- it provided you with a good distraction. Seeing clouds had always seemed to somehow clear your thoughts. Though daybreak was over the horizon- it somehow looked so clear to you. Ever milky fluff seemed to calm you down further. You had always loved flying- it washed a sense of calm over you. But the thoughts in your head made it difficult for you to completely relax.  
The whole situation with Hall and Welsh had already frustrated you. But what had confused you even more- was Agent Hotchner- that moment you had with him and been very different. would you even call it a moment? It had been weird to say the least- and very unlike him. Him acting like that towards you was very surprising- even to the others, you remembered as you saw him walk away from you, that Emily had the same look on her face as you. Almost mirroring you, from your periphery you saw her reaction. She had only been a few feet away, talking to Morgan and Spence, her facing towards you in the direction of the ambulance, where she had seen the whole encounter. Did Hotchner finally like me?- that’s probably a reach, you snorted. But you knew for sure that you had seen a very different side to him- a side that you had never been on the receiving end of, until today at least.  
To be honest, even that fraction of a moment when was being nice to you, had made you realised how much you did admire him. The way he was able to maintain his anger and composure seeing someone of his team being in a compromised position- seeing someone literally in a life-or-death situation. The way in which he was able to keep in head on straight- regardless of what was happening in front of him. How he could treat you in such a gentle way but then quite literally drag away Hall, the next moment, into an interrogation room, had astounded you.  
He had intrigued you- well beyond measure. The whole situation only sending you into a further spiral, you realised even your head needed some rest. Deciding to drift off to dreamland.  
Not realising, that from her seat, Emily had the perfect view of you, and was analysing your every movement. She knew something was off about you, and she knew from past experience from Interpol- to always trust her gut. She knew she had to make a few calls to learn more about you and your past- there was no way, a ‘newbie’ FBI agent could know about Valhalla. Even the thought of that name sent shivers down her spine. She needed to get to the bottom of this, and fast.


	4. Back

It had been a week since the incident, and since Hall’s arrest. While you’d been excused from coming into work, your assignment was still ongoing, Webber contacting you frequently with many updates. The CIA and Mark’s taskforce had actually been able to infiltrate Hall’s precinct and get many more new leads regarding corruption in the workplace. It had been a huge bust to say the least, you, primarily being responsible for catching them all. It had felt good, knowing that your near-death experience at least mended corruption in the police and probably saved many lives. And for that you were grateful, so grateful. Honestly, every day at your job had made you so grateful – you had finally started to see the upside to it on your little ‘break’ from the BAU, as Agent Hotchner had insisted, of course. Don’t get it wrong, you did know you had a very important job, but sometimes- seeing the dark horrors you did usually, as the lengths some people went to, to specifically harm an innocent person, it did kind of shatter your faith in humanity. So, to try to get out of this negative space, each day- you tried to think of anything positive that came from your job current and your past job in various CIA assignments. And god were there a lot. It just seemed to reaffirm why you had chosen what you had in the first place. To be frank, that short holiday had seemed to somehow reset your entire attitude- given you a more positive outlook on life. 

So, to keep up this positive attitude from your break, you decided on your first day back on the BAU, you’d try to spread some of your cheer. By the best way you knew, especially for FBI agents- coffee. So that’s exactly what you did; a colourful, seasonal flavour coffee or frappe concoction for Penelope of course, mirroring her colourful personality. Coffee with more sugar than milk for Spence and just the regulars for the rest of the BAU. 

As well as coffee, you had decided to make this day count. 

So here you were, fresh hair, fresh nails, with an outfit that seemed to boost your confidence through the roof; this was exactly the start you had wanted, one that you had craved in-fact. It seemed to just remind you of the fact that you were a boss bitch. On a secret assignment from the CIA - worked previously in many successful assignments. But more than that- it just reaffirmed to you that you were someone who could bring yourself back from a dark place, that you could see the positive in a seemingly dark world- with all the horrors you did see on a daily basis. The break really did wonders for you. 

So there you were, walking out of the elevator on the fifth floor, you made your way first to Penelope’s ‘bat-cave’ as she had referred to it many times.   
“knock knock” you called out from outside Penelope’s door. 

“Okay who is talking this loud this early- (Y/N)!! Omg sugar- it’s you” Penelope exclaimed as she wrapped you in her arms. 

You had actually grown quite close with Penelope during your break, which was not that surprising since she was such a warm person. She had reached out to you the most, which was honestly quite surprising. I mean, it’s just since you two weren’t that close, sure you had a bit of banter but she did have that with everyone. You two really bonded, to be frank- you were quite surprised and sad to hear that she had actually gone through a near-death experience. It had frightened you, just the thought that someone could ever even just think about inflicting pain on someone so kind and lovable, had honestly made your stomach turn. Weirdly, knowing that she had gone through something like that, had made you realise you could trust her- with your life. Obviously you did have to trust the rest of the BAU, even Agent Hotchner, since they were in the field with you, but for you- especially since past assignments, this trust had to be earned; something Garcia had done actually. You had been left high and dry too many times, especially in the field; since then, you had realised only you could trust yourself. 

“OMG (Y/N)- You don’t know how much i have missed seeing your beautiful face at the office, sweetness. There was too much testosterone when you were gone” Penelope pulled you out of your thoughts. 

“Pen- you’re the sweetest. I missed seeing your gorgeous face and all of this-” gesturing to her whole persona & office space “In the last couple of days” you finished. 

“But, before we get carried away with the gossip, which you definitely need to catch me up on by the way, I should give you your coffee” You continued. 

Handing over the colourful cup, Penelope practically just salivated at the sight. You could have mistaken that for her lifeline. Wrapping you in a hug again with rambling about how thankful she was, especially for hand-delivering her coffee so early in the morning. You made your way out, walking through the doors of the BAU now, one less cup of coffee to carry. God how your arms were thanking you for that. 

As you made your way over to your desk, you saw the rest of the group around Emily’s desk so you made your way over there.

Hearing a chorus’ of “(L/N) you’re back!” or “It’s so good to see you”, you passed over everyone their usual coffee order. 

“Hi Guys! I missed you all” you exclaimed as you wrapped most of them in a hug- pretty much everyone except Spencer for obvious reasons. 

“How was the break, kid?” Derek asked, concern clear on his face. You could tell he knew the extent to what you had gone through. He had actually reached out too, during your short break. Which was unexpected to say the least. Also unexpectedly Spencer. He had been such a sweetheart, offering to take you to movies to distract you- but you knew it was just an excuse for him to be able to physically check-in on you and how you were doing. 

“Yeah- yeah, I think it the break did me some good” you mentioned. Silently thanking Derek for his help throughout this situation. He understood, which you got from the slight nod and smile on his face. 

“Is Agent Hotchner in? I need to fill out the incident report” you asked the group. 

“Uh, yeah- he should be in his office. His last meeting ended about 10 minutes ago” JJ informed, checking her watch for the time. Thanking her quickly, you made your way over to Agent Hotchner's office, already dreading meeting with him. Okay, he was nice to you that one time, near the ambulance, but you just knew he would somehow, once again, turn this on you. Or just ask more questions than necessary which could potentially make you ramble and disclose details of your assignments. 

“well then, I guess I can’t put off our meeting for longer” you groaned, prompting a laugh from Emily and JJ. 

....................... 

“Come in” you heard from inside Agent Hotchner’s room once you knocked. Gathering up the courage, you square your shoulders. Matching his alpha male personality yet keeping up the newbie act. 

“(L/N), you’re back” he said curtly. 

“yes, sir- Glad to be back. I remembered that you said that day you needed to speak to me about the incident?”you replied. 

“Yes, that’s correct. I just need you to fill out this incident report and not leave a detail out” Hotchner replied, passing over a stack of papers. You could tell though, he was holding something back- biting his tongue. As always. You just hoped he would say something, anything.

“(L/N), how did you know he was a dirty cop?” he questioned, squinting his eyes. 

“Well, uh- you see Sir, I heard the unsub murmur something along the lines of ‘Did Hall put you up to this?’ and I made the connection. Plus, in the locker room, I was just talking to myself about the case, about how Hall could potentially be involved in all of this, and I think he heard me- well he did, that’s why he put a gun to my head.” You explained. 

“Right. Well actually, I’ve been keeping up to date with the investigation, and well the CIA has now taken over, made quite a few busts & arrests, actually. Would you know anything about that?” He questioned, keeping up his squint and furrowed eyebrows. 

Be cool. 

“oh- well, I guess that is very good then. And as for these forms, I’ll have them to you by the end of today- I have a bit of paperwork to catch-up on as well.” You smiled.

Only receiving a curt nod in reply, you decided that was his way of dismissing you. Well, that went better than I thought. Walking out of his office, you could tell Hotchner was still very much angry. God, did he ever smile? I doubt it. 

Going back to your desk, you got ready to attack all your paperwork. As you were on your break, you had gotten behind on some of your consults and paperwork. And god, did you underestimate how much work you did have. 

Guess, today was going to be a long day & even longer night. 

......................... 

It was only you and Agent Hotchner at the office now, everyone had left about an hour ago. It was around 11pm and god you were finally done. Starting to pack up all your things, you saw Agent Hotchner leaving his office, his briefcase in his hands. 

You did have to admit though, you were glad to see him. God had you somehow forgotten that during your short break, how attractive that man he really was. But lord, you had also forgotten how much the both of you butted heads. You just hoped your short time away from work did help him as well, hell it may have even brought a smile to his face. That’s not possible, you snorted.

“(L/N)? You’re still here?” He questioned. 

“Uh yes- I’m just heading out now though.” You replied, walking towards the elevator. 

“Well, I guess, I’ll just walk you out” Agent Hotchner replied, still a little cold though. 

Only smiling in reply to him you started walking as he motioned for you to lead. Huh- guess he’s being nice now.


	5. Locked In

As you walked with him, out of the FBI office. You noticed how empty the office truly was. No one in sight. Was this normally when Agent Hotchner went home? Truth be told, it did get you thinking, about Hotchner, his job, his home life. You had found out that he wasn’t romantically involved with anyone at this point, and god was that a conversation you wanted to forget. It had been a typical day at the office when everyone on was on their lunch break. It had been ‘paperwork day’ at the BAU. So, there you were, talking with Prentiss, Garcia, Morgan and JJ about the latest happenings, when Agent Hotchner walked in. It was a sight to see for sure, him, out of his regular suits. In a polo shirt actually, and god were you cursing at the person who invented suits, Beau Brummel, this information being courtesy of Reid of course. Seeing him that day had nearly made you cave, till you remembered how he acted around you. That’s when you had sobered up, pushing the thoughts of his oh so chiselled arms in the deepest parts of your brain. 

So yes, that was when Garcia and Prentiss nagged Hotchner about his love life when he confessed, he was not seeing anyone. To be quite honest, you were glad at the discovery- well, it wasn’t that surprising. You could not imagine Agent Hotchner being nice to someone for more than 2 mins, well to you at least. 

“So, uh, I’m glad to be back” you muttered, feeling slightly awkward since it was your first time being alone with Agent Hotchner. 

Yes, you two had worked cases together of course, which kind of forced you into many not so great situations. But it was exactly that, forced. This was the first time, either of you had made a conscious attempt to actively be in the proximity of each other. You were only surprised it was him that took the leap. Honestly, you had thought it would probably be you, that would extend an olive branch. Partly because he was your boss, but also partly since you found him very attractive. The latter of the two being a more likely reason for you to finally cave. God, you were just glad it was him- saved you the embarrassment. 

“Yes, it’s great to have you back. You’re last uh case, was eventful to say the least.” He spoke as he stood beside you. 

“Yeah, I-uh , yeah you could say that” you laughed awkwardly. 

“How are you doing, I mean after all of that?” Hotch asked, now turned towards you. 

“Um, definitely better, I’m sort of used to those situations by now” You replied. Shit shit shit, by now? 

Seeing confusion evident on his face, you continued. 

Goddammit ishita “I- just mean after all of the training. They do go through various situations and show how to best act you know? Well, obviously you do know- since you are my boss. And now, I’m just going to stop talking.” You finished, looking down at your shoes in embarrassment. 

God, why can’t you just be a normal human being around him? Why does all logic and basic communication and social skills just fly out of the window with him in your presence? You’re a damn CIA agent, for god sakes, you scolded yourself. To be frank, that had become your mantra during your short time at this place. Somehow, always with Agent Hotchner in your presence, you seemed to do something so unlike you. It may be his hardened gaze on you, the constant peering- over- your shoulder looks that made it impossible to complete a simple task without rolling your eyes. 

Hearing a small ping that signalled the elevator had arrived on your phone, you waited for the doors to open. Seeing Agent Hotchner’s arms extend in front of him, as if signalling you to walk in first into the elevator. Giving him a small smile, you walked right in. He followed in as he was checking his phone. While the elevator doors shut, a weird sound came. 

“uhhh-“ you started

A loud banging sound followed, while the elevator jostled. The small screen that usually had the FBI symbol, now was only showing a blank screen with ‘No Signal’ bouncing around. 

Oh shit. 

“Oh.. OH” you nearly screamed as the elevator continued to shake. While you were freaking out, so was Agent Hotchner. His bag now dropped to the floor as with his phone, his hands now on either sides of the elevator door. “Woah, woah Hey HEY” he was almost screaming now. It was no use though, there was no one left in the office, and both of you knew this. 

“Okay OKAY- Hotch, Open the doors! Open them oh my god.” You nearly screamed at him. God you hated this. Ever since Reid had told you about the time him and Morgan were stuck in the elevator, you sure as hell knew you didn’t want an elevator accident to be how you died. God how you didn’t want to be part of the “Six elevator deaths per-year” statistics. Oh, the irony, you could just practically see it – ‘Brave CIA agent (L/N), somehow survived multiple near-death situations, only for her to be put of out her misery by a damn elevator’. 

At your scream, Agent Hotchner turned to look at you- almost surprised that you spoke to him. Quickly turning back towards the door when he heard more sounds, he flipped on the emergency button. “I’m trying- I’m- GIve me my phone” he urged. Glancing around in a hurry, you dialed the emergency hotline. As they picked up the call instantly, you immediately rambled to them about the situation 

“HI- yeah so we’re stuck in the elevator in the uh FBI building; I-I uh think we’re between floors and uh” you somehow said as Agent Hotchner stole your phone.

“HEy-” you yelped as he only gave you a hardened glare in response. 

You quietened suddenly.

As he filled in the person on the phone, you only seemed to inch closer towards Agent Hotchner. “THis is Agent Hotchner from the FBI….” you heard him speak as you suddenly drowned him out. The rumblings of the elevator now being the only source of the sound. Sometime soon, he finished the call and informed you that they should be here soon. You only seemed to nod at that. As you tried to calm down, breathing deeper and longer than usual, you felt yourself getting a bit calmer. 

BANG. 

At the loud sound, you latched onto Agent Hotchner’s arm. Almost no space between you both now. 

Damn, he really did have muscles under there.

Not the time, focus!

“Hoootch- I’m scared” you whimpered, as the elevator continued shaking. Looking at him, you saw his normal cold face now show hints of frights. oh god, even he’s scared. Placing his arm over yours that was latched on his arm, he tried to calm you down. “It’s- It’s going to be okay, I’m sure, they’ll get here soon.” That did somehow seemed to give you some comfort though. 

Realizing what you were doing, almost hugging Agent Hotchner, you ripped your arm away from his. As if having the same train of thought as you, Agent Hotchner separated from you. People could have almost mistaken you for water and oil. “i-I, I’m sorry” you mumbled. “It’s … fine” he mumbled back. 

But, it wasn’t fine. You kept your gaze on the arm that was on you before, and saw him shake and flex his arm out. WIdening his fingers all the way, as if he was mad at himself that he let you touch him. Okay, dick move, boss. 

But you were cut out of your thoughts as you heard a voice from outside. 

“HEy GUYs? DOn’t worry- we’ll get you out soon. We’ve stabilized the elevator level for now, so you both shouldn’t feel this moving or shaking now. But please- sit tight. We’ll get you both out soon.” sounded from outside the elevator door. 

………………………………………… 

Sitting down on the elevator floors now, both Hotch and you were sat as far apart as humanly possible. Which was, quite hard to do on a small elevator. 

Now, you know that ‘soon’ was about 2 hours, well- that was until Hotchner had enough. Oh, and not on those who were fixing the elevator. oh no- on you, actually. 

“you know- (L/N), you should just come out and say it.” He muttered angrily. 

“Say what, Hotchner” you snapped- finally had enough of his cold attitude. God if you could, you would say something, anything that would rid of all of his curt and coldness from you. 

“You know what-” He replied, mirroring your agitation. 

“No, actually - I don’t. I do NOT see what your problem. I haven’t seen what your problem has been from the day I started, alright?!” you snapped again, running your hand through your hair- completely in frustration. 

“Oh you haven’t? Because I feel like, I’ve made my distaste of you, very clear actually-” He replied. 

“Oh have you? Haven’t noticed, sir.” you spoke sarcastically. 

Continuing, “It was not like you going against everything I’ve ever said in relation to profile of an unsub, or better yet, anything I’ve ever said, period.” Looking at Agent Hotchner now, completely in rage. How dare he be angry at you? How was this your fault- what had you done, that had made him so mad? 

Cutting you out of your thoughts, Hotchner spoke, “Well, ever since I realised that you’re doing Strauss’ dirty work for her.-” 

“wait what?” you questioned, genuinely confused at what he had said. Had he been mad at you this whole time because of this?

“You think, that I’ve been snooping you on guys and reporting back to Section Chief, Erin Strauss?” disbelief clear on your face.

“well-YEAH, haven’t you been? I mean- all the evidence is stacked up against you- all the weird phone calls, you weird alludes to some sort of ‘past-life’ where you have oh so much experience” 

“okay- I’m just going to make this clear for you, this once. I have never and I will never be in any sort of kahoots of Erin Strauss-” you continued, quite heated. Seeing the look on his face was priceless though. Okay. 

“Frankly, I’m insulted you are accusing me of this? and now nonetheless. LIke really? you had to be locked here in me to have a serious conversation like this?” you finished. Realising that your boss was not going to respond you just continued. “And no- okay? You guys- you guys are my team. I’m not going to jeopardize my position at the BAU as a profiler, for someone who is betting on you to fail. I’m not like that. I’m never going to be like that- you, you of all people need to know that.” you finished, your voice lowering as you got to the end. “I- uh who am I kidding? you’re- you’re never going to believe me, it’s no use at this point.” you spoke with a sigh. 

“no-no, I- I’m sorry” he sighed too, as he rubbed his hand over his face. “I, don’t know…. why I doubted you” he spoke softly. “Well, uh I-” he started. 

“Hey! Guys- we’re so sorry this took so long, but the doors should be opening now.” You heard a voice from outside. 

Snapping up from your position on the floor, both of you gathered up all of your stuff from the floor. Mirroring you from the other side, Hotchner was doing the same. 

“You.. you called me Hotch, before” he mumbled.

“I’m sorry?- I” confused, you asked. You could hardly hear him over the construction noise outside of the door. 

“Nothing- don’t worry” he quickly rasped as he doors opened. 

As soon as the doors opened, you were both out of there. Almost running to your car, you mumbled a quick bye to Hotchner as he waited to speak to the firefighters that came to the rescue of you both. Not even waiting for an response from him, you beelined, promptly to the exit. 

That was weird. Your whole conversation with him had made you feel a bit weird. But to be honest, you were just glad that everything was out in the open. He knew, now- that you had no involvement with Strauss and all her crazy plans. And for that, you were glad. Wait- you stilled on your way to the car. Had you called him Hotch? and that had been the only thing on your mind that night. 

………. 

Walking into the FBI building today, you tried to be low-key. You just knew, that somehow, everyone would have just known about what happened. Okay, it wasn’t really anything bad. But - you knew these people, especially Prentiss & Garcia, and their affinity for gossip. Walking through the BAU doors that morning, all you could hear was series of Hoots and giggles, until Garcia joined you at your side, sliding her arm through yours. 

“sweetness- how was your little ‘get-a-way’ with boss man in the elevators” Garcia giggled. 

“Garcia… it was not a get-away’, the elevator literally broke down when both of us were going to our cars” you mumbled, already having memorised what had happened. It saved you the trouble, you thought. 

“Oh- sure. And I’m sure the elevator was also to blame when you were practically glued to his side and holding onto his bicep- we all know you really wanted to cop a feel” Garcia continued, still giggling. 

Walking away from you now, as you had reached your table, she mumbled something just before she was out of earshot “Oh- yeah i saw the tapes.” 

“Garcia- I’m gonna kill you” you yelled as you sat down in your chair as she ran away.


	6. Aftermath

It had been a couple of days since the elevator incident, and well, things at the BAU were ...different. You and Hotch had been tip-toeing around eachother- a lot.

Hotch...?

I mean- Agent Hotchner.

Partly it was because you were mad at him. And rightfully so, since you were so confused on why exactly he would ever be suspicious of you. Especially think you were reporting back to Strauss, but the more you actually thought of it, the more you did understand. You totally saw where he was coming from, and that only frustrated you more. You understood that Hotchner was probably subject to others in his past that weren’t to trustworthy. And thus, when you- an outsider was suddenly fast-tracked into the BAU, into his family, he- hell everyone had the right to be a tad weary. Even with that understanding though, it did stop you from being your petty self. Atleast to him.

But a larger part of you, just wanted to get along with him. And well, things were complicated - atleast for you. Since then, whenever you saw him, there was a shaky feeling in your gut. Some sort of feeling you couldn’t quite place yet. And it wasn’t anger or frustration like before, you could point that out from a mile away. But this time, it was different- unfamiliar.  
Maybe because since that elevator, you had started to see him in a new light. Maybe.

Or maybe- you hate lying to him & being a hypocrite.

....maybe.

Okay so maybe that was the feeling in your gut. You weren’t lying to him about Strauss, but something much bigger.

Pushing those thoughts out of your head when you got a text on your device, you saw it was from your boss, Mark Webber. He was informing you of a potential suspect of a dirty cop that had been suspected on murder. Well, the report that he had sent you read that Mr. Hunter Spiel- or Luke Hemm, his birth name was suspected of murder and had been on the run for 30 years, and was now, going by Hunter Spiel. He had left his wife and two kids behind, both who were in their 40’s now and severed all connections to his past life.

Hmm, interesting. Though you would think if you were on the run, you wouldn’t get a job in the police force.

Your assignment for this case was to somehow gather DNA evidence since the voluntary DNA provided by Officer Spiel had been fake. Seems easy enough, you thought. The real challenge was to not act suss though, you knew Emily was on to you already- after your accidental mention of Valhalla. You just hoped she had forgotten about that though. But you knew, that nothing got past her. Moreover, she had been acting a bit weird around you too, giving you side eyes, studying your face too much. Like at the conferences table that day, when you were all getting briefed on your next case. It was local, thank god.

“So, there’s been 3 Jane Do’s that had turned up along the Virginia border with no marks or identification on their person- I’m talking no tattoos or anything” JJ began, as she flicked through the photos.

“They’re all suspected to belong to one unsub though, since they have the same MO- torture & asphyxiation.” JJ spoke, prompting Garcia to grimace. Opposite you on the table was Agent Hotchner. You could practically feel his eyes on you, but you tried to pay no attention to it. Hey word tried- finally looking up to catch his eye. He seemed startled. Cocking an eyebrow in response, he simply shook his head slightly and looked back down at the file in his hand.

Hmmm.

What?

That was weird.

Very.

As Reid and Morgan went back and forth, nitpicking at little details of the case, you kept thinking about the time in that elevator. You had called him Hotch- you remembered, but it somehow felt natural? And oh god, you had literally clung to him. Prentiss, Morgan and JJ had ripped you to shreds after Garcia had “accidentally emailed them the clip”.

Yeah, such an accident right?

Not.

But ever since then, you felt everyone had been analysing you and Hotchner just too much. The only one that wasn’t acting differently around the both of you, was Reid. Even Rossi got in some remarks, you had overheard on your way to the break room when bossman and him were in.

“So- what’s this thing I hear about locking yourself in the elevator with (L/N)?” Rossi asked, his coffee mug raised to his mouth. You thought it was an attempt to hide his smile. Though, the teasing tone was crystal.

Ever the evasdropper, you stayed hidden. You just needed to know more.

Of what?

Of what... someone thought.

“Dave... it’s nothing like that.” Hotch started, sighing. “Okay sure- she is not bad to look at, but I’m her boss. Plus she’s so ... difficult, sometimes” he spoke, his volume lower. You could hardly hear anymore, but you felt you had heard enough.

“Very cute too-” Rossi added as he walked away from Hotchner, a smile dancing on his lips. That man was a magician.

He called you pretty- he called me difficult?!

After that, you quickly walked away and tried to forget. How dare he call you difficult?!

“(L/N)- to my office, now” Hotchner spoke, as the briefing ended. Only rolling your eyes in response, you picked up your file and nodded at Hotchner. As he walked away first, you followed behind him. You just knew that everyone at the BAU was going to have a field day with this.

......

“Yes sir- you called?” You knocked on Hotchner’s door.

“Come in- sit down please” Hotch muttered, finishing off the form on his desk he was signing.

Sitting down in front of him, you kept your gaze on him. But in the corner of your eye, you saw a cute drawing of the team, you were surprised to even see you in there. Jack knew about me?  
But your thoughts were cut short when Hotchner broke the ice.

“Is- everything okay? I noticed we didn’t hear much of your input on the case” he spoke, his hands clasped together in front of him. He positively radiated authority in that moment. Almost regal. “You do know the main reason we all work well together is because we’re a team. And a team needs everyone’s input” he continues, a gentle tone to his voice.

Almost squinting before replying “Yes, sir. I’ll try to speak up more. I was just uh-thinking about some things” you spoke.

“Hotch.” He said.

“I’m sorry?” You questioned.

“Call me Hotch, I liked when you said it before” he said.

Trying to quell the surprised look on your face, you swallowed, “o-okay, Hotch” getting up from the chair “if that’s all-”

“Yes, that is all. Wheels up in 10” he spoke, dismissing you.

That was... interesting.

Bumping into Emily on your way out, she teases “ooo is someone in trouble.”

“I’m not in trouble- Hotch just wanted to speak to me about giving more input during our briefings” you respond as you both walk towards your desks.

“It’s just so annoying sometimes- I feel like he “wants to talk” for the stupidest reasons sometimes. And oh don’t even get me started on when he called me difficult and OH! In the elevator when he accused me of spying on him & reporting to Strauss! God, he’s so difficult sometimes.” You huff.

“(Y/N)... for someone you don’t like, you sure do talk about him a lot” Emily sighs. Almost somehow smirking at the same time.

“I do not! I talk about every-”you start, being almost too defensive, but are cut short by Penelope.

“GUYS! someone is joining you on your case- and let me tell you, this man could like, get it.” Penelope squeals. Rolling your eyes at her antics, you simp gather up all your things. When the other girls gossip about this mystery man, you are focused on the suspect.

And?

No one.

Do I really talk about him a lot?


	7. In which she denies

So, you had come to the realization that you did in fact, talk about Hotch a lot. Though, at least to you, it felt quite necessary, but others- like Prentiss may disagree with that. And god, was she crystal about that fact. Especially after your conversation with her as you came out of Hotch’s office, where she brought everyone in to back up her claims. Gathered around your desk now, Prentiss and JJ were sitting on your desk to the side, while Reid and Morgan hovered. You swore, you even saw Rossi from the corner of your eye resting against the railing in front of his office. As Prentiss filled everyone in on your previous conversation , this instantly prompted Reid to spit out some numbers, in the hundreds of precisely how many minutes you had spoken to them about Hotch. Or JJ, to insinuate that you had a crush on Hotch- 

“L/N look it’s natural- it’s not a bad thing that you may like Hotch-“ JJ spoke, almost borderline with a teasing tone. 

‘I mean, I see it, can’t really blame you. The whole asshole-vibe is a …. turn on” Emily added. Simply rolling your eyes at them, you focused your attention back at your computer. You knew what they were doing though, both seasoned in interrogations. They tried to emulate your point of view – of liking Hotch – to make it more likely for you admit your feelings for him to them. Though, what they probably didn’t know, was that you were also very seasoned when it came to interrogations. Being in the CIA, you had cracked criminals many times, those that practically had their mouth sewn shut as they saw police in the room. But you knew exactly what to say, and well- it was fun. More so the adrenaline rush you got from it, from a confession. Pushing those thoughts away, you almost wanted to play along to their narrative.

What narrative? You do have a crush on him.

……but they don’t need to- Shut up! It’s… not a crush- just an attraction. 

Yup- just an attraction. yup

You caved. 

“You know- look okay. I mean yeah- Hotch’s hot. But that doesn’t mean that anything is going to happen okay?” To hastily whispered to Emily and JJ. “Plus- he’s my boss. Isn’t there literally rules against this?” you continued.

“Oh – yeah, there is rules-” Reid spoke, matter of factly. 

‘BUT- it’s not going to matter, because no one here is going to rat you both out” Morgan spoke, almost seeming too familiar with these types of chats. 

“Morgan- you and Garcia have had so many warnings already- obviously someone is ratting someone out” You spoke, turning in your chair to look at Morgan. 

“damn Mama, that’s just cold” Morgan spoke, a hand on his heart. His face showed clearly he was joking though, so you just laughed it off. 

“No, Y/N – you know Morgan’s right though- no one here, would say anything! We’re literally a family here, you a part of that.” JJ spoke. 

You couldn’t help but smile at that. 

A sudden warmth filled your chest. They considered you family? You felt so grateful that they had welcomed you with open arms, literally. But JJ’s comment also made something settle in your gut. You felt extremely guilty. You were lying to these people for crying out loud! To your family. It was so refreshing, especially after your previous assignments from the Pentagon to have a place where you felt that you belonged. You were so used to just being there, getting the job done. But here, at the BAU, it was so different. These people had your back, at every turn- after what happened with Hall and of course after your break. No one at the CIA would have done the same. Especially on missions, it was mostly solo, you just had to have your own back and somehow make it out alive. Well, that was your experience at least. 

But you also knew how crucial it was to keep up your cover. And how much you couldn’t let this effect you the way it already was. Why is it so hard this time?

They’re different – that’s why. 

And god they were. You were not used to working in such an family-like environment. All other missions or assignments you had completed, had been just that. Assignments, just something for you to tick off and add to your resume or profile. But your time at the BAU- the little time you did have had already changed you. Even Webber had noticed. He had mentioned the last time he you both had a meet-up. How much “happier” you had become at the BAU and even joked that “Agent Hotchner was probably a better boss then me”- you had only rolled your eyes at that. Brushed off his comment like it was no big deal, but his next one had stuck. Specifically, how “you have tells now”. That one honestly scared you the most. The fact that within your short time here, working with some of the world’s best people-readers, you had developed tells. It was ironic and comical- so Y/n-like. But it only made it that much harder, the fact that you had to now focus on not screwing up with your micro-expressions also. 

“hey- earth to Y/N” Morgan spoke, waving a hand by your face.

The others simply laughed at this. You almost always doing something that was amusing, to them at least. 

As Prentiss now had filled in Penelope about the group’s conversation, you knew she would also get her 2 cents in. Especially like asking your permission of course, to snoop around Hotch- to find out his thoughts about you. 

Yeah right, he’ll probably just tell her how I’m difficult, you rolled your eyes metaphorically at that. 

Before she could even utter a word though, you spoke “I’m done talking about this-” checking your watch now, “Also- it’s almost departure time so-” you started to walk away with your go-bag in your hand. Almost instantly, the group dispersed, some coming after you, others going to their respective desks to grab their bags.

“You’re not getting out of this conversation that easily missy!” Penelope fake scolded.

Winking at her in return, you retaliated “I already did.” 

She instantly smiled, shaking her head. 

……. 

Everyone was seated in the jet now, going over victimology. Emily and you sitting next to one other on the seats, while Rossi sat across from Emily. Spencer was by the coffee cart while JJ and Derek occupied the lounge and other chairs. All looking over the files, trying to somehow find a clue.

It was a fairly common case that the BAU had worked at before, the kills demonstrated the unsub craved control. This was especially highlighted through the acts of asphyxiation. Though the torture was what confused many of us. The ME could not figure out for sure what sort of object was used. The bodies of the victims had been littered with tiny nicks and heavy bruising that suggested minor yet major abuse.

These poor girls, it never gets easy huh.

Somehow, Rossi knowing exactly what you were thinking looking at these, he muttered from the opposite side “It never does.” A magician, again. 

“Let’s go over victimology” Hotch muttered as he sat down across from you in the chairs. Giving you a look, a softer one at that. Did he know too? 

Glancing up at him when you felt his eyes, you gave him a soft smile, something to assure him. It was weird though, you had to admit. Going through the same train of thought, he caught your eye. Looking back down again, you saw the faintest hint of smile on his face.

So the ice king does have emotions.  
.  
Breaking your train of thought, the discussion started. “3 Jane do’s- Garcia’s trying to track down who they are, going through missing persons, but no luck so far with face recognition ” Morgan spoke. Just on cue, Garcia appears on the laptop.

“By their clothes and health state- a high risk lifestyle isn’t too far of an assumption” you stated. The girls had been severely malnourished, indicated by the concentration of ketone bodies in their system. And well, their clothes had all been very big on them, like they were borrowed. 

“What’s concerning is though, how their deaths were only a couple of days apart-” Prentiss started. 

“It is likely, that they were taken captive around the same time. Almost all of their digestive system’s contents is the same if not identical” Reid finished waving his hands around. 

“So- it has to be a group, right? No one person, can manage to kidnap these 3 women. Just by their built- there were sure to put up a fight” JJ spoke looking up from her file. 

“Or maybe the unsub just subdued them in a way- spiked their drink or something.” You spoke looking back at the blonde, now. 

Just then, Garcia popped up. Please have good news, Garcia.

“Hey baby girl, got good news for us?” He continued, seeing Garcia pop up.

“Yes, my sugar plum- in fact I do. So, the first girl- her name is Mary Jane and she was last seen just outside of a bus stop. I somehow managed to scan her face from a camera that was at a bodega near the station and it was a match! Hallelujah! I’m still searching for the other two. Hit you back asap!”

“Garcia – check around a 10 km radius. The fact that these girls were taken around the same time means, that bus station had to have been somewhere in the middle of where the unsub is keeping them and to the other locations where they were picked up.” Reid spoke, a calculating look on his face.

“Will do, genius. I’ll have the information to you all faster than Y/N can deny her feelings!” And just as quickly as she appeared, she was gone. You only widened your eyes in response. Oh, I’m going to kill you, Pen. While the others, namely Prentiss, JJ, Morgan and even Rossi snickered at Garcia’s quick outburst. Hotch did not- he had a questioning look, and you didn’t need to be a profiler to tell that. It was crystal.

Interesting ?

Just then, you got a text. Webber. ‘ Sending an agent your way – Stephan Moretti. He’s there to assist’

Was this who Garcia was talking about?


	8. The New Agent

It was 3 days in, on this case. Everyone had exhausted all leads and had well and truly burned out. Reid included, and that was saying something. The new agent that Webber had sent your way had failed to show, due to some task force and well it was only the usual people. All of whom were trying to find a speck of a lead or clue in the piles of files on the desk. You were sitting down, with Hotch by your side while Prentiss & Reid sat across from you both. Hotch had called in Garcia last minute to the scene, her being very excited to ride the jet alone. Or so you thought. 

Hearing heels pound against the precinct floors, you made the connection instantly to Garcia. Looking at her from the corner of your eye, you saw her walk in. Much like you, everyone else was also entrapped by her presence. 

“Hello- crime fighters! You all will be very happy to know that I brought something amazing with me - and no, it’s not my looks” cue a smirk from Morgan and Prentiss. “Agent Moretti-” she motioned over.

Oh. 

A man walked over, tall, lean and attractive. 

Your breath almost hitched when he saw you. Don’t say anything to me- you do not know me. He was walking over to your table, everything seemed to be going in slow motion as you straighten your posture out. Unconsciously preparing yourself for the absolute hell this would havoc. Please, please, please- act like you don’t know me. 

He inched closer. A smile on his face now, looking your way. He gave you a slight wink, which you just hoped no one else saw. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck. “Agent Hotchner?” he asked, a smile on his face now. 

“- I’ve heard so much about you-” like his wife, or foyet? You mean “I’m very excited to work with this squad on this case.” he said, as he shook his hand.

“Agent Moretti, we’re glad to have you on board.” Hotch nodded.

From behind you, you heard a chair squeak as he got up. As Moretti stopped in front of you, Hotch joined him, shaking his hand. “Glad you could make it. Morgan- catch him up.” He said, almost too curtly. 

“This is Agent L/N, Reid, Prentiss, Jareau” he pointed to each, respectively. “Morgan and I’m sure you know Garcia already.” he said. 

“Oh yes- Miss Penelope and I have been introduced quite well” he spoke, stealing a glance at Pen. Giving her, everyone else there a glance at his pearly whites. She flushed instantly. “Oh- I, I don’t know about that.” she stuttered her way through the sentence. 

“C’mon, gorgeous-” your eyebrows quirked at that, “You know you made an impression on me- with your crazy smart tech knowledge for starters.” he spoke, striding over to where she was standing. Behind Garcia and Moretti, you Morgan quirk an eyebrow at that. Ah, he must be enjoying this, you thought. 

“And you, David Rossi? I’ve read some of your books, you are a legend, sir.” he spoke, walking over to Rossi. He had a knowing smile on his face, like he was used to this “Thanks, kid. I have to say- I’ve heard of you too. Knew your old man actually.” he said, as he shook Moretti’s hand. 

“Dr. Reid? Nice to meet the genius of the squad- though, no offence to all of you.” he spoke as he walked over to reid. Who sat opposite you. Everyone else just smiled in response, as he extended his hand- “Oh, wait- you don’t shake hands I’m sorry. I completely forgot-” Moretti smiled, substituting a nod for that handshake. Reid simply smiled at that, knowing that Garcia was the person to thank for not having that awkward conversation with another person today. 

“Agent L/N, I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure before.” Moretti spoke. Giving you a smile. Getting up from your seat, you smiled back at him “Yes, I don’t believe you have. Welcome to the BAU.” you shook his hand. He squeezed your hand for a moment longer though. 

Seeing the exchange from beside you, Hotch cleared his throat. Moretti let go of your hand immediately. 

“Well- that was uh, Anyways…. What do you guys need from me?” Garica spoke, as Morgan helped her with her things. 

“We just need you to work your magic, sweetness.” Morgan spoke as he patted her hands. 

“Well that, chocolate thunder, I can do.” Garcia smiled back. 

Looking over at you now, she mouthed when Hotchner and Moretti were conversing that, ‘he’s perfect for you’ an ecstatic look on her face. Only widening your eyes when you saw her, you mouthed a quick shhh as you sat back down to look through your files. 

C’mon, Y/N. You gotta admit he’s attractive.   
Okay fine- i admit it.   
“Hotchner- we got something” an officer walked into the room. Hotch nodded at that, and motioned for him to continue. 

\---- 

“Ready?” Hotch looked at you. 

“Always” you replied. 

Not even a second later, Morgan had broken the front door. Similarly you had busted through the back door, with Hotch on your tail. “FBI-” you shouted as you walked through. 

You heard a couple of clears, as the both of you made your way through the rooms. Over the wire, you heard Morgan found the perp, but not the victim. “We’re on it” Hotch spoke to Morgan. 

As you walked over the floorboards, Hotch did the same, on your six. You gun in front of your face, you stopped in your tracks. You walked backwards a few steps. “Hotch- it’s hollow.” you spoke. 

Instantly he jumped into action. You with him. You found a little lift in the floorboards and with the knife you kept on the inside of your ankle, you lifted the side. You stepped behind as Hotch got down in front of you to lift it up. He lifted the board up momentarily. It was quick, though you still saw the way his back flexed, his muscles moving with him as his shirt constricted around his biceps. God how I’d want him to lift me up like that-  
Focus! 

You immediately heard a muffled scream. “We got her-” you spoke as you lunged down to help untie her, ripping off her gag first. Her sobs were the only thing you heard for the first minutes. Her muttering “help” frantically. 

“It’s okay- it’s okay, we’ve got you now. You’re safe” you spoke as she clutched at your chest. You swallowed at the sight of her and looked back at Hotch. He had a grim look on his face. 

That son of a bitch better pay.   
He will, he replied. 

——

After the victim had calmed down, you had taken her to the medic where was able to get the attention she needed. She had been assaulted but thankfully, nothing too major. So that was that. Perp caught and victim saved. Now, you were able to focus on your actual mission. Catching Hunter Speil. You had only briefly seen him around the precinct and had minimal interaction with him. 

I need to do something. 

“Hey Hotch- I think I left some of my files back at the precinct. I shouldn’t be too long” you told him, as you made your way back to your car. You had ridden with him, but you were sure he wouldn’t mind having one of the uniformed officers drive you back. 

“Did you-want me to come with you?” Hotch asked. He walked closer, only inches away. 

If only I just, pulled his collar-   
No. 

“No, that should be alright.” You spoke, a tad breathless. Moretti can help- “I’ll bring Moretti- if you don’t need him here.” 

“Yes, that’s fine” Hotch spoke, curtly. He had a frown on his face. What’s his deal? 

“Moretti- you’re with me.” you called out to him. He was chatting up Prentiss and JJ, both of them laughing along to whatever he was saying. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes at him. As he jogged up to where you were, the both of you made your way back to the precinct. 

During the case, the both of you hadn’t gotten enough time to hash out a plan to get the DNA, or his confession, but you thought some intimidation from Moretti would help. I mean, who wouldn’t confess to a 6’2 man. You sure as hell would want to.   
“So- what’s the plan.” Moretti asked you. 

“I’m thinking we pull out some of the good cop, bad cop. That’s the tactic that always works for me. I’m the bad cop obviously. But i think he’d be easy to speak.” you spoke, looking back at him. 

He quirked an eyebrow at that, but nodded. “why do you think that?” 

“Well let’s see- for the past 20 years he’s been living a lie. And he is literally a cop- seems like a cry for help, to me. He’s been implicating himself working at a station, knowing full well that Luke Hemm’s records are just seconds away from being found. It’s the exhilaration that gets him off- the fact that he thinks all the other cops are ‘too stupid’ and can’t catch him.” you speak, matter of factly. 

He seemed content with that conclusion, and well the both of you sat in the squad car. You were at the station in minutes. You had told Moretti earlier to bring him into the conference room where you would be waiting for the both of them. It was one of the old conference rooms, the one that no one at the precinct used. And well, you doubted many people would be there either way. Especially since it was 1 am in the morning, and after closing a big case. You betted many would be at their favourite bars though, ordering rounds after rounds. Cops and their drinking.   
Nodding to Moretti as you got out of the car, you made your way to the room. Fixing it up. Things like turning off the air con, making of the leg chairs shorter than the other, just things that would make him uncomfortable. Five minutes later, you saw Moretti walk in with Spiel before him. As he closed the door behind him, you motioned for him to sit. He declined. “Mr. Spiel, or Hemm. was it?’ you asked. 

“What-” he stuttered, his face going red. 

Ah well, that was easy.  
“Sit down.” you spoke, quite harshly. He complied. Sitting down now, he looked at you, ashamed. 

“So - do we still have to go back and forth with all of this, or are you going to confess?” Moretti spoke, walking around the room. 

“I- don't know what you both are talking about. I am Hunter Spiel- have been for the past 50 or so years, since I was born.” he spoke. 

Slamming your hands down on the table in front of his face, you yelled “Cut it out- we know who you are. What you did and nothing is going to erase your past. Especially from the CIA” 

He flinched back when your hands made contact with the table. 

“Okay-okay. Fine. I’ll speak- but not without my lawyer.” he spoke. 

You heard a door opening in the corridor, some noise following. 

Looking up at Moretti, he nodded. 

“FIne- my partner Moretti will take you there. I need to go.” Looking back at Moretti now, you nodded “Don’t worry gorgeous- I’ve got it covered. Webber’s on his way.” he spoke. 

You nodded at him and walked out of the door. Suddenly an arm grabbed you out of nowhere and pulled you into a room. “What the fuck-” you screamed. When a hand clamped down on your mouth. “You’re CIA?” Emily asked, very surprised. “I- what, Emily? Where is this even coming from?” you asked, trying to calm your heart rate. 

“Cut the crap Y/N, I heard you interrogating that cop. I heard you say CIA-” She responded.

“Emily no- that’s crazy. Give me a chance to explain, please” you pleaded. 

“No- no. It all makes sense now. Why that other cop had you at gun point. Why you knew about Valhalla- those case files are… confidential. You’re here on an assignment, aren’t you?” She spoke, rapidly. 

“Emily- please, not here. After we get back to Virginia, I promise-” you spoke.

She seemed to understand, “you better- look we better get going, it’s wheels up in 2 hours.” she spoke before she walked out of the room. You could tell she was pissed off though. Fuck fuck fuck.   
Okay Y/N, it’s not a totally bad thing-  
What are you saying? It is a bad thing- your cover could be blown off!   
Okay, let’s just- uh relax.   
Trying to calm yourself down, you tried to think of ways to somehow convince Emily that it’s not what it looked like. But, that was hard- considering her past at Interpol. The only thing you could hope for now, was for her to understand. But that would have to wait until you were back home.


	9. Secrets

“I was thinking you weren’t gonna show” Emily spoke as you sat down in the chair in front of her. 

“Almost didn’t” you replied. Settling in across her. You knew that you shouldn’t have showed up today. But how could you not? 

Coming back home after the case, you had tried to ignore Emily’s calls and message for a whole of two days before you caved. You knew that you shouldn’t, well were not supposed to tell her of your secret assignment. But truth be told, you were dying to just tell someone. This had been your first assignment that was this long and on-going, and frankly you were just tired of keeping a secret. Living a double life, betraying the people you called family. So, finally after two continuous days of ignoring calls you had finally caved. Agreeing to meet her for breakfast on your day off. You had terms though. To meet her 20 kilometers outside of town, in a quaint cafe that was not too busy. You figured some of the crowd would blur out the noise. She had agreed, guess she did understand. 

“So- what do you want to know?” you chuckled, trying to make light of the situation. It didn’t work when you saw she had a curious look on her face. So, you stopped beating around the bush. 

You told her, everything that you could. Why you were there, what your assignment was, your past. You were an open book in front of her now. Yet, all you felt was an air of comfort around you.   
“So- is your actual name still Y/N?” Emily asked. 

“Actually yes- just added authenticity, i guess. Also since most of your work as an agent has been in the CIA, they just sealed all files relating to me when i came here, just some stuff from my academy days are public- stuff that fit the narrative, you know?” you spoke. 

“So that’s why Garcia couldn’t find anything about you-” Emily spoke, all the dots connecting now. “I can’t believe that you didn’t tell us- after months of working with us. We’re your family, Y/N-” she stopped. 

“A part of me just wants to scream at you- but, the other. Just wants to give you a hug and tell you, you are okay and not alone. Look, I know what it’s like being all alone- knowing that you don’t have anyone you can go to. So- Y/N, I get it. I get why you did it- why you’re still doing it.” she spoke, her hand reaching out from across the table to caress yours. 

You smiled as you felt comfort through the grip. It was refreshing to say the least. “There won’t be a word from me, I promise you that. And well, i'm guessing you know about my past too?”she spoke.

“You know I do” you smiled. She chuckled at that, classic CIA.

“So we good?-” 

“We’re great,” Emily smiled. 

\-------- 

“Ah- welcome agents” Rossi spoke as he saw the both of you walk into the BAU. Identical coffee cups in your hands. Since your talk with Emily a couple of weeks ago, the both of you tried to make this a common occurrence. At a place closer to both of your homes though. It felt nice to open up to someone finally. 

“Hi Dad-” You smiled as he came in for a fist bump, it was your thing. You simply smiled at that. After saying a quick hello to you, Garcia and Moretti now made your way towards the both of you. Just as soon as they came though, Rossi left and headed across the room. 

“Well hello there, pretty lady-” Moretti spoke as he pulled you in for a hug. You only rolled your eyes at him, yet tired to resist the urge to hug him back. You caved though, almost moulding into his grip. There was something different about his presence though. It felt comforting, almost protective. Something you didn’t think you would experience, by Moretti nonetheless.

Across from you in the room, you saw Hotch and Derek talking to each other. Morgan looked at Hotch with a smirk on his face, while Hotch had a curt look on his face. He had his poker face up, but you saw right through that. He was… not okay, for sure.

“That kid- moretti, he’s a piece of work” Rossi mumbled as he met with the other guys on the other side. His thumb discreetly pointing at the both of you. 

“Tell me about it- just the way he is, with Y/N, Penelope” Derek mumbled. 

Rossi smirked at that. Of course it was hard for Derek to see someone else flirting with Garcia. Especially when it had such an effect on her. But at the mention of you, Rossi looked squarely at Hotch. His face clearly showing frustration, one of his hands rubbing over eyebrow. 

“But you gotta admit - L/N and Moretti do look good together-” Rossi mumbled. 

“He asks her out a lot too- one of these days, she’s bound to say yes. Trust me.” Derek continued. 

“-Oh yeah, nothing like slowly wearing a girl down with persistent flirting-” Rossi mumbled. Hotch smirked at that. Only for a moment though. And it didn’t take a seasoned profiler like Rossi to know the reason behind that. He smiled to himself.

He’s in love with her. 

…...

Walking further through the bullpen, you saw the rest of the squad heading towards the conference room. Garcia and Moretti taking their sweet time though behind you and Prentiss. Oh yeah, he had been here ever since. The two of you had hit it off quite well actually, the both of you having similar likes and dislikes, especially when it came to music and movies. This certainly seemed to help fast track your friendship. Aside from the obvious reason for your comradery. 

What about flirting? 

Okay so maybe there was a little flirting coming from him. But, he was just that. A flirt. Anyone within a 100km radius to him could see that. So all of his attempts to ask you out had been unsuccessful. It was funny though, Prentiss and JJ had called you both the next Garcia and Morgan. Despite your responses not being entirely as flirty and quirky as Penelope’s. Somehow, the both of you did manage to get your official work done though. After the case, he had filled you in on what had happened to Spiel, how the federal judge had charged him for his crimes. But you made sure he knew that this was supposed to be kept on the down low. And well, he had promised, obviously knowing the crucial nature of that case. So you were glad, that bust being on the down low. 

Well, that was until today. 

“Hey guys- look at this!” Spencer exclaimed from his desk. JJ and Morgan who were with Penelope, made their way over to his desk. All slightly curious about Spencer’s findings. 

Oh god, did someone open up the proton? 

Quit - you live for his nerdy talk. 

“Wasn’t this a cop from the last case- Yeah- yeah it was! Uh- his name’s at the tip of my tongue” Morgan spoke, looking aimlessly around the room. You thought it was so he could somehow find a clue. 

“He was- I believe though- that wasn’t his real name- Hotch! Look at this-” he spoke, as he was cut short.

“Isn’t that officer Spiel?-” Hotch asked as he glanced at Reid’s computer screen. 

“Luke Hemm, actually- the federal government busted him for identity theft, obstruction of justice, false pretense and fraud. They found out he was a dirty cop that faked his murder and ran away from his family about thirty years ago-” Reid spoke. 

“Another dirty cop huh?” Rossi spoke, looking at you from the corner of his eye. 

Prentiss looked at you too at that. Much like Hotch, who just had a curious look on his face. 

“It’s crazy how many they’re finding these days! I mean, we had that Officer Hall before, and now Spiel- all of who we have worked with recently.” Spencer spoke, excitedly. He mirrored a small child in a candy store at that point. 

“Hmm that is interesting, you’re right Reid” JJ spoke. 

You tried not to make any sudden changes to your behaviour. From the corner of your eye, you saw both Hotch and Rossi staring at you, the latter being not so subtle. But you also saw Emily, with a panicked expression on her face, her lip between her teeth. You knew she was trying to find a way to change the conversation without it being weird. 

Just as you were about to speak though, Agent Hotchner got a phone call. This made the group disperse. All of you knew by now that if Hotch gets a call directly, this case is going to be big. And hard. So all of you do the best to prepare instantly. So that’s what you all did. Hotch calling out that it was wheels up in 10, and to debrief on the plane. 

\--------   
You guys were just ready to bust into the motel room where the unsub was. It was a hostage situation. The unsub, Mary Richard had kept her other victims with her in the room, refusing to talk to anyone to negotiate. You were the lead negotiator on this case, Emily pushing for you to. Richard had lost her child, around your age recently which had been her trigger and therefore, everyone thought that you would be the best chance to be let in. They thought that she would talk to you, maybe think of you as a surrogate for her daughter. 

You were trying so hard to just talk to her, but none of your attempts were working. She had responded to all of your tactics in a different way than you would have expected. She was unhinged. Unresponsive to any of your tactics and frankly, she didn’t have anything to live for anymore. And that scared you the most. You couldn’t let other innocent victims die, their deaths would be on your conscience. Just because you weren’t able to calm her down. 

You were by the control centre, where you had a camera set up to look inside the room. Snipers stationed on all buildings that were in the nearby vicinity. Hotch and Morgan by the corridor, waiting for any chance to move in. You had told them to hold back though. 

“Just- trust me, please.” you had muttered to Hotch as he tried to walk past you. You grabbed his arm and looked straight into his eyes. 

“Okay- 15 minutes.” he spoke, looking at your face. His face managed to soften just a miniscule amount. You nearly melted when you saw it. 

You were on minute 13 now, the seconds seeming to pass by even faster now. 

I need to do something, now. 

“Mary- please, just let those girls go, now.” You pleaded. You wanted to edge on her maternal instincts. And it was working, you thought. 

“L/N- we’re moving in now” Hotch spoke into your wire. 

“Hotch- no don’t! She’s armed. You can’t go in-” you were cut short. 

You heard a door slam open. Idiot. You saw in front of you though, that Derek was still behind. Hotch had broken in the door alone. You saw Derek’s eyes widened as he rushed forward to the door. “Hotch- what the hell” he whispered over the wire. 

Seeing Derek rush in, all of you did as well. Hotch- i swear I’m going to kill you. 

When you got to the door though, you saw Hotch with your back towards you all. Mary pointing her gun squarely on him. Everyone had their guns pointed squarely at Mary. Derek and Rossi trying to talk her down. But it was no use. All words seemed to be going through one ear and out the other. A constant sound filling your head. All of the voices seemed to blur into one. You couldn’t focus on your primary objective- to save the victims. All you could think about now, was how Hotch could be steps away from death from an unhinged woman. You just couldn’t believe that he would put himself in that position to begin with. You- you were- so-....

….. in love with him.   
Oh. 

Oh. 

“Mary- please, I know you don’t want to do this. I know you don’t want to be responsible for any more deaths of innocents.” you spoke, as you lowered your gun to your feet. You saw everyone glance at you from theirs, all having a ‘what the fuck are you doing’ look on thier face. 

You prowled closer to her. 

“Mary- you have to trust me. These girls will pay for what they did to your daughter, they will be held responsible.” you were in line with Hotch now. You saw his arm come up, to hold you back. But you escaped his grasp. 

“But please- I beg you, don’t take justice into your own hands. Erica wouldn’t want that.” you spoke, standing in front of Hotch now. 

Mary broke down at that. Her sobs filled the entire room as she broke down. Disarming her quickly, you passed the gun off behind you to Hotch. You cuffed her as she cried, reading her miranda rights. Everything seemed to be a blur then. You weren’t even sure when you left the room. The only thing nagging your mind was the realization you had. I love him. 

God, i love him. 

Watching the whole takedown, Rossi was certainly surprised. More curious, which was signalled by his slight eyebrow raise.


	10. Kiss and Tell

\------ Hotch’s pov 

Deep breaths sounded from your chest. The sirens and noises coming from various federal vehicles seemed to drown out. The only thing you could focus on was the lights. Illuminating almost everyone. You saw JJ and Emily huddled together with the rest of the squad. Morgan talking on the phone, which you suspected was to Garcia. Even Reid, talking to the local authorities. I need to get out of here. 

Just as you found yourself a secluded spot. You tried to calm yourself down, your heart rate.

“Aaron- are you alright?” a voice called out from the corridor. 

Dave. 

“Dave- I just need some space.” you mumbled through your gritted teeth. 

“Aaron, look at me- just breathe, that’s it. Atta boy.” he coached. 

“She has a big effect on you, huh?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow. 

“What-who-who are you talking about?” you asked, confused. 

“L/N-” he spoke.

“Dave- what are you talking about? She by subordinate-” you tried to justify. 

“Aaron- I’m not an idiot- ask yourself this, would you be this agitated if it was Emily in Y/N’s position?” he spoke, ever so wisely. 

God dammit, Dave. 

“Yes - I would still be this worked up. Regardless, what she did was not procedure- what she did was completely reckless and selfish.” You tried to reason. 

Lier. 

“Okay, Aaron- sure. I swear you’re both the densest people I’ve ever met.” he laughed, almost ironically though. 

“What do you mean?” you quirked an eyebrow. 

“Why would she have put herself in that position- think, Aaron” he spoke, almost spoon-feeding you the answer. 

Oh.

Oh. 

“Dave- I, gotta-go” you stuttered out, as you walked away from your little solace. 

As you asked around for Agent L/N, you heard there was some mix-up with some of the evidence collected. God dammit- 

Guess, Y/N’s gotta wait. 

\------- reader’s POV

“That was quite a stunt you pulled there, Y/N.” Emily spoke as she walked into the precinct. 

You went there earlier than the rest of the squad, electing to ride with the unsub, Mary. That had been a ride to say the least, her being a complete wreck, almost having no recollection of the events. Like she had managed to already block out all of the memories. She didn’t have any empathy for her victims either, she had made up her mind that all the abuse she had endured on those poor girls was justified. You thought an insanity defence would be sufficient. Enough to keep her behind bars, you just hoped. 

But now, you were back at the precinct. Emptying the locker that was temporarily assigned to you for the duration of this case. You shut the door, almost in exhaustion. But partly, because you weren’t ready for Emily’s line of questioning. 

“That was nothing Em- trust me when I say, I’ve done worse-” you sighed, not looking at Emily. 

“Look Y/N, that was not nothing- you, you knowingly walked yourself into a situation that could’ve gotten you killed. All for what-....... Hotch.” Emily sighed. All the dots connecting in her head.   
You inhaled a sharp breath, as soon as you heard his name. 

“Em, you know it’s not like that. I would’ve done that for any of you.” you tried to convince her. 

“Y/N, c’mon, you know that’s not true. Look I know that you would walk through hell for all of your friends but….this was different, and you know it.” Emily spoke.

“Em, what do you want me to say? That I couldn’t see him in such a compromised position? That I can’t see him hurt? That I ….can’t let the man that I love die.” you spoke. Your words sobering you up from the adrenaline rush. 

It snuck up on you too. And you were not prepared in the least. All your life, you had run away from love. Scared to form real connections with other beings. You didn’t have stability in your life, your job was at fault for that. And therefore, you didn’t want to drag others into the circus you called your life. But with Aaron… it was unexpected. It was refreshing. 

Like something, you didn’t know you would miss. You had never felt this way before. And this scared the life out of you. So naturally, when you saw him, at the front of the barrel of the gun. You panicked. 

“oh Y/n…. i get why you did it. But you know it wasn’t right- you should have seen his face when you put yourself in front of him. He was so mad- so scared, too. That’s the first time I’ve ever seen him like that, you know.” She sighed. She was closer to you now, her hand rubbing your shoulder as a sign of comfort. 

“Em, you’re reading into that- he was probably just mad that I went against his direct order. Just usual Hotch stuff.” you told her. 

“No, this was… different. And I’m just telling you what I saw.” She replied back. 

“Well Emily, for my sake- I … hope you’re right. He’s just different- so different from any other guy I know.” You spoke, a soft smile on your face. 

These days, simply just the thought of Aaron seemed to put a smile on your face. 

“Hotch is… one of a kind, for sure.” Emily laughed. 

“Don't I know it” you mirrored her, rolling your eyes. 

As you turned to face the door, you heard his voice before you saw him. Emily noticed too. He seemed more agitated than usual, you could hear him barking at some officer for misplacing evidence. Oh boy. That poor officer, you genuinely did feel bad for him- you knew exactly what it was like to be on the receiving end of that. You had hated every minute of it. 

As he finished barking at that police officer, he walked into the locker room. He met eyes with Emily and tightened his jaw. 

“I’m…. gonna go” Emily spoke, widening her eyes as she saw you. 

As she walked out of the door, Hotch followed behind her and closed the door as she left. He still had his hand on the doorknob, his back facing you. He sighed. You breathed in, preparing yourself for what was to come from him. 

“I- can’t believe you did that.” Hotch mumbled. He turned around to face you, not giving you a chance to respond. 

“What were you thinking, dammit!” his voice getting louder as he progressed. 

“I-” you were cut off. 

“How could you put yourself in a situation like that? Again?” he yelled, walking closer to you. 

“Hotch- Aaron.” you tried. 

His face showed no sign of your response. He was stoic though, seething with anger, you could tell. 

“Is this a joke to you? Is this just a game? I will not have any of my agents acting that reckless in the field. Going against direct orders, putting themselves in harms way. Is that clear?” He spoke.

Oh this is ironic. 

“Hotch- I can’t deal with this right now-” you said, turning away from him. You were so over his shit. How dare he turn this on you? That you were too reckless? The only reason you had acted out the way that you had was to save him. That ungrateful little bitch- next time I should just stand idly by and watch him kill himself, you thought. You just knew you had to walk away from this situation, or you would say things to him in the heat of the moment that would get you in trouble much later. 

As fast as you were, he was quicker. As you turned, he instantly grabbed your swinging arm and pinned you to the lockers. His hand caging yours, well his whole body caging you. How am I always caught in this situation, you thought. 

You’re not mad about him putting you in this position, though.

“You are going to deal with it- with me.” he spoke roughly. 

“You really want to do this? Now?” you ask, your eyebrows raising. Almost taunting him. 

“Yes- I want to do this now. What exactly were you thinking- wait you weren’t. At all” He spoke, his face inches away from you. 

“I was thinking that-” you started. 

“What, that you needed the glory for yourself? That you had to be the one to talk the unsub down? Is that what this job is to you? For you to find ways to validate yourself?” He yelled. 

“That I couldn’t let the man I love die-” you gasped. 

Oh fuck. 

He stilled at an instant. Unable to speak, form a sentence even. All you could do was brace yourself. His hand now grabbing your onto your face, capturing your lips instantly. Almost like it was his primal need. He consumed your every sense then. All you could do was follow his lead, as his mouth moulded with yours. He was so perfect, at everything he did. 

Cocky bastard. 

You looped your arms around his neck, pulling him impossibly close. Not letting him leave you- you had waited so long for this. You were going to make sure he would remember how good this felt. You deepened the kiss. Completely entangled with him. Trying to articulate all of your worry, care and love for him, through this. 

You pulled back. Resting your forehead against his. Realising that in the moment, he had lifted you up, his arms under your thighs. “I- did it for you- because of you. I freaked when I saw you, there, in front of the gun.” you said softly, your hand rubbing his cheek. 

“I just- knew I needed to do something, that would save you. I didn’t even realise what I was doing and next second I had a gun pointed at me.” you mumbled. 

He mirrored you now. One hand coming up to caress your cheek, aiding you comfort. Only of his arm holding you upright. 

“It’s okay.” he started, shushing you. 

“If you had been in that position, I would have done the same thing. I was mad at me, really. For acting that reckless. Blaming myself for putting you in that position. And for that, I’m sorry. I never wanted you to be in the middle of that.” he sucked in a harsh breath. 

“Silly, man.” you tsk’d. Laughing just a bit. For a seasoned agent, he could for sure be stubborn like a child. 

“Hey! Do i need to remind you that I’m still your boss” he mocked. 

“Well then, sir, I must be going back to do my job. My boss is a real stickler for the rules. A serious pain in the ass, you know?” you smirked. 

As you detangled yourself from him. You swayed your hips as you looked back at him as he spoke, “Oh yeah, i know the type- reminds me of someone else I know” he smirked right back at you. His hand rubbing over his forehead, chuckling to himself. 

Walking outside the locker room, you bumped into Rossi. Him taken back by your bump, stumbling a little. As you apologized profusely, he simply motioned that it was okay. When he saw behind you, the door open and Aaron inside the room, he smirked. 

“So- you guys make out-up, or what?” he smirked. 

“Yeah- wait what.” you replied, confused.


End file.
